Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Watched this last night. While not entirely terrible it is mainly stupid (what do you expected from a title like that?). The story follows the adventures of siblings Hansel & Gretel now grown-ups and impeccable witch hunters par none. They also talk like they were born in the modern era and dress in cool leather outfits that probably were leftovers from Underworld or Blade movies. The movie has a lot of action since the witches not only cast spells, but also are accomplished martial artists that know their Jackie Chan routine. Fanke Jensen is totally wasted under heavy make-up for the most part and her lines are pure camp. Jeremy Renner is having just a payday here and Gemma Arterton is so freaking hot which was the main reason I watched the whole thing. The skeleton of a better movie is buried under this one, but as it stands is merely watchable. Think of it as a Syfy tv movie, but more violent and with some T & A. 6/10

 

This movie really seems beneath a guy like Renner. I think it hurts his rep to do this kind of filth. Then again Hugh Jackman did do that lump of shit movie Van Helsing.

 

Van Helsing was actually entertaining in its own campy way.:egypt: Way better than Hansel & Gretel. It was a shame since the original idea was from Francis Ford Coppola as a spin-off film from Bram Stoker's Dracula with Anthony Hopkins reprising his Van Helsing role. Once the screenplay left Coppola's hands it went through a lot of rewrites until it finally landed in the hands of The Mummy director and that is how it turned into what we saw. This Van Helsing was closer to the videogame Castlevania than to its literal original source.

 

Really? Was the title?opcorn:

 

Renner struggled getting decent jobs for a long time. Probably happy to get these easy paydays and will take 'em when he can get 'em now.

 

Gemma Arterton is delicious looking.....:hump:

 

WTF?:twitch: the same title as the Hugh Jackman film? Not 'the Van Helsing Chronicles' or "Stake Master"? people might think is a remake.