Check the Scene. Arrested at a Foo Fighters concert in Ohio, supposedly "heavily intoxicated". Broner, Pavlik......... fucking Ohio idiots.
"Izzis nirvanaconcert? *belch* thas guy loosh like the nirvanaguy... Fush you I can drive fine! Yoursh jusht jealous you can't hander yer liquor"
"Nahhh I'm bein berryyy sserious, dasss fuckin Kurt Coltrane brroooo! Swwear to fuckin drunk I'm not God! It's fuckin Bert Cobain maannn!"
On a serious note, Pavlik must have people in his life who love him. They need to get him help. He's obviously a full-blown alcoholic.
Kelly can still put guys on Beer street. Kelly has tried Bernard Hopkins, now he's going to try John Hopkins. Personally, I think he should stay away from Hops. B-Hops, J-Hops and, well, Hops in general. Kelly rang is local radio station and asked them to play the theme music to Superman, the Boston Hops Orchestra version. Kelly was recently caught trying to get into Syria. He had heard there was something brewing down there. Kelly doesn't drink and drive. Movement gives him fits. Kelly crashed his SUV while drunk. He said the telegraph pole came at him like a jab. Kelly McGuinness is starring in a new movie called Top Bum. Kelly has tightened up his defense. He can now slip the right hand and before long plans to slip into a coma. Kelly used to skip rope, now he just skips entire sentences and paragraphs. Kelly never quits on his stool...he usually slides off it first and then quits. Kelly tried to commit suicide but the ropes held him up. Kelly rings Ruben Carter one day. "Hey Rubes, you COULDA been the Champion of Da World, but I WAS the Champ, what you say about that you murdering Cunt". Carter replies, "Fuck you Pavlik, Bob Dylan wrote a song about me". Kelly shot back "Wait, The Man In Me was about you"?? "No", screamed Carter....."that was about that faggot Ray Leonard".
