Noah

Billeh, do you think Noah would have been all aboot Rangers?

 

Of course, Vhisky, laddie - he wiz all aboot keeping it in the family.

(j/k)

 

what's with all this rubbish with Anthony Hopkins..why is he even there
i can't believe they screwed this movie up...people want to see this movie for special effects, not some back story to Noah's life

it's simple:
15min - introduction, showing Noah's family and how the world is awful with people stealing and killing and raping on the streets etc
5min - God talks to Noah...convinces family to build arch
10min - arch building..(all the while showing how fucked up the world is now)
5min - animals boarding arch...cool effects, lots of animals..some humorous scenes..also some cute 'awww' scenes with animals hugging and helping each other
20min - hardcore floods, storms tsunamis..cool effects
15min - arch is sailing around the dangerous storm with lots of cool effects..some animals get in danger but luckily Noah saves them
5min - storm dies down and world is flooded and the Arch is just sitting there on a quiet ocean
10min - water goes away and animals get off the arch
the end

10000000000 dollars revenue

 

I think the flood sequence will be shorter than 20 minutes and also will have a lot 'HOLD ON!' 'BRACE YOURSELVES!" 'SECURE THE INNOCENTS!" yelling from Russell and the rest of the actors with close-ups of their faces in fear or worried. Being a Hollywood film, some of the baddies will stowaway inside the arc and Noah will fight to the death the main baddie while the family and 'the Innocents' look on. At the end of the movie, Noah/Russell will give a warning to the family and viewers about the impending dangers of Global Warming. Fade to black. Credits. Panchy pukes.

 

they shoulda made this movie as a prequel to Waterworld

 

That is what looks like in the trailers. Will Noah drink his pee?

 

::

 

is getting mixed reviews. So far it has a decent, but not great 70% fresh score on rottentomatoes.

 

Saw this with low expectations. It was still pretty bad. Not completely horrible but felt like I wasted my day anyhow.

 

Just saw this.... and Ho-Lee-Shit, what a stinking pile of crap of a movie.
Some basic facts:

-Some huge transformer rock creatures actually build the arc, Noah basically doesn't do shit.
-Noah and his family are vegetarians, they live in a barren rocky wasteland, makes perfect sense.
-The arc is built from a forest that magically grows in this rocky wastland mountainside in 4 seconds, yes, 4 seconds.
-The transformer rocks smash thousands of people to death that are trying to board the arc to save their lives.
-The transformers rocks have souls, and powerbeam the souls up to heaven the instant they die.
-One of the transformer rocks commits suicide in order to make its heart/soul explode so it can kill more of the people trying to board the boat.
-Noah is a sick, violent dude, he tries to kill his twin baby granddaughters by stabbing them in the forehead and tries to end the human race.
-Noahs grandfather is Anthony Hopkins who lives in a cave up on the barren rocky mountain perched above the barren rocky wasteland. He has magic too. He touches his grandaughters stomach making her fertile and horny intantly.
-The arc crash lands on top of the mountain that the arc is built on.

 

::

Man, I wanted to see this buy everyone says it blows. Your review got me interested again. Lol

 

:: Yah on second read it does make it sound kinda cool...
I guess I went into the movie with an expectation of some sort of quasi-believable scenario. This movie makes the book on which is it based seem like the ultimate true guide to the scientific history of the universe.

 

Baloney!

This was Aronofsky's baby from the start based on a graphic novel he wrote with all the crap we saw in the film.

<img width="550" height="727" id="yui_3_5_1_5_1411864897801_635" style="width: 373px; height: 493px;" aria-label="Image Comics have released a ten-page preview of Noah , the upcoming ..." alt="" src="http://media.comicbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/noah-preview-01-e1392340894762.jpg">
<img width="1282" height="1695" id="yui_3_5_1_5_1411864897801_682" style="width: 373px; height: 493px;" aria-label="Image Comics have released a ten-page preview of Noah , the upcoming ..." alt="" src="http://media.comicbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/noah-preview-04.jpg">

 

Aronofsky wanted to make a very scifi global warming tale that was deemed extremely offensive to religious groups. If the bosses hadn't ask him to tone it down the film would have been even worst than what it is.

 

Gee man, even great directors like Coppola make a stinker from time to time. Aronofsky was proud of his stinker and never disassociated from it after it started getting bad press.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/11/darren-aronofsky-noah_n_4941318.html

 

He could have requested to have 'Alan Smithee' credited as director if he was displeased with the end product. He didn't because he is proud of the film he made. Many director's have epic fights with their producers. Is not uncommon in Hollywood. Spielberg battled with the studio for JAWS and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. Richard Donner's fights with the Salkinds were so bad that they fired him before he could finish 'SUPERMAN II'. But 'SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE' was his baby and he was proud of it despite the concessions he had to make which weren't that many since he hold his ground on the bigger issues to keep Superman true to its roots.