Argentinian Mario Oscar Melo, who once fought Michael Moorer for a WBO title, suffocated to a croissant when he entered a croissant-eating competition in Buenos Aires. What's the saddest part is that it was only his third croissant in the competition how do you assume David Tua would have done?
Sorry I didn't mean he couldn't make the weight, I mean to say he couldn't wait and just started eating before the buzzer.
Where's the annual "Former Fighter Coke Snorting Contest"? Whitaker, Calzaghe, and Hatton would be live underdogs, but Oscar would have to be the betting favorite.
I'd make Oscar a wide favourite. Wide hips and elbows and nostrils, come in the room dry, nostrils like a heavyweight, he broke his nose.
Rocky Juarez would sit there looking at a plate of enchilladas, go to pick one up, stop, go to pick one up, stop. Pick one up put it back down really quickly, then eat three or four fast and just run out of time in the end.
He probably needs enough coke to stun a mule just to get started. Part of the problem is you need a blood supply to your brain and I am not sure Fury has one.
I reckon Calzaghe would be a lightweight with coke, just doing one line to try and fit in. Hatton would talk a load of bollocks and start crying at some point, Fury would be the one who would start shadow boxing in the front room. No idea what Whitaker would be like.
Julio Cesar Chavez would come along with a brown paper bag containing fortuitous draws and dodgy refereeing and try to exchange it for a six pack of Corona and a paternity test.
