SEE YOU! A brand spanking new modern fitba thread 2020/21

I left the pub before your game started but that's a great result. Well in Billeh, even though I hate you cunts . Seriously though, Gerrard has actually done really well, fair play.

 

Fucking Boavista. I actually followed them on Eurosport in 2000 or whenever they won the Portuguese league because they were one of the few teams to break the Porto/Benfica/Sporting domination and win the title. I was hoping they'd do well in Europe afterwards but it seemed like they played a British club in every single round, so could never root for them.

 

Thanks Slice

Ma post read rather petulant, like... Ah didnae mean it tae be so whiny, Ah just wanted tae try oot the ‘Hell no!’ Graemlin.

 

Ye’re actually oot there right noo, like? Ah’ve never been tae Rome (been tae Pisa, Torino, Lake Garda etc) - soonds like Ye love it. Aside from the fitba, whit else have Ye got uptae?

 

Our stay in romes been too short really but we've tried to get the big ticket items in, st peters, sistine chapel, vatican museum, pantheon, trevi fountain etc and are on our way to the colleseum just now tho we're not gonna have time to do the tour because our train back to milan is at 2pm. Wouldve loved a couple more days here - rome is consistently beautiful in a way ive never experienced before and ive loved it much more than i expected to. It just never seems to give in and present grubby modernist housing and billboards. We were walking out the stadium yesterday, which is pretty far out of town and set in a wider sports complex with tennis courts etc- anywhere else on earth itd be utilitarian sheds, car parks, etc in rome the practice tennis courts are surrounded by about a dozen double scale classical scupltures. For no intelligible reason except this is Rome and theyre fucking committed.

 

I was going to have a few quid on Celtic, Rangers, Man Utd and Wolves all to win. I didn't bet and they all won.

 

Soonds brilliant. Inspirational stuff, must get oot there masen.

Have a good trip back.

 

Cheers Billeh. Ive still got a couple days left back at milan tho i feel like we covered most of that on the one day we had there already! Shouldve spent the spare day in rome. The highlight of Milan, at least for me as a bit of train station fetishist, is probably milano centrale station which must be the grandest in the world

 

Yeah, Italy was always a country I'd consider living in.

 

Aye. The food and beer are marks off, mind. Seriously Italian food is just the pits. White carbs, more white carbs, some sauce, rubbish cheese & meat scraps and everybody telling you how amazeballs it is. Pish. Like anywhere else you can seek out alternatives but its harder here - italians really seem to like italian food!

 

Aye that was arguably number one but i was just counting goals ive celebrated in person. Lamberts vs rangers in 1998 was just so huge in the moment with them going for ten and us failing to stop them the last 2 years because we just couldnt get the win over them. Dodgy offside calls, woodwork, miracle performances from goram it just felt like it would never happen....even the scrappy build up to it of us banging our head clumsily against their defence 3,4,5 times was like a perfect microcosm of the whole emotional gestalt, then.....that strike. Like a soaring consonant resolution from bar after bar of dissonance, albeit one of ecstatic white noise. Hugging strangers in tears while tumbling down stairs onracelts.

 

Lol you are legit mental, Italian food is fucking incredible. Glad you're having a good time though, Rome is a great city.

 

Standard of women?

Many fat people around?

 

To be honest i just never notice much difference between affluent cosmopolitan areas whether theyre in the uk, holland, spain, US, wherever. Once you weed out the chavs and fatties youre always left with a normal distribution curve. The vatican did seem to have a crazy number of beauties around, but i always get randy in church.

 

Mate its just flour, reconfigured inventively. Fancified peasant junk!

 

I got tired of paying for top dollar pizza...........£15 for something that quite simply costs £4 to make and bake.

As soon as I got tired of paying Pizza........I learned how to make it. Then I started eating loads.......its full of calories and you don't half get sick of it after a few days.

Only thing is that it is cheap and you can live off it if times are tight.

 

Pizza base is flour, water, yeast and fuckload of standing around waiting for the thing to rise, breathe, fall over, "Prove" whatever.

It's nice but it's not fast food by any stretch.

Oh and you need tools and skills.

The Pizza joints are working because the markup on a pizza is like 500%.

They makea de dough, they putta on the machine, they pressa de dough, they putta de passata anda de cheese and whatever else....boom hot oven 5 minute and is a delish.

Then Elvir Mohammed, your friendly "Italian" moped driver drives like a cunt to deliver it to you before it cools down and reconstitutes back into the shit it was made from.

You need a proper hot oven or your fucked. By rights it should be stone oven firing wood at the bottom of your garden.

Most domestic ovens don't cut it. Not hot enough.

 

Said a million Syrian and Afghan cunts as they walked right in and demanded this and that.

 

Havent seen many of them. Just 1000 africans telling me my beard looks African and trying to give me a totally, completely free bracelet. Top tip: politeness doesnt work.

 

Sorry, let me re-phrase: ´Yeah, Italy was always a country I'd considered living in.´

 

What's the catch? Apart from your fucking wallet disappearing, that is.

 

It usually begins with a friendly “Hey, where are you from?”, “Nice shoes”, “You have a good smile”, etc. Once the ‘mark’ has responded, the scammer then has a set-piece statement with which to respond: usually about the country you’re from. “America, land of the free”, “England? Rodney you plonker,” “Vive la France!” etc.

At this point a cheap bracelet is put on your wrist without your permission. If you try to give it back, the scammer usually says “no money, it’s a gift”, then tells you a sob-story (often involving a pregnant girlfriend), then asks for a “tip”. Refusal leads to persistence and following you around.

These techniques here seem odd, but this is an evolved scam based on what has worked in the past, not what is particularly logical.

There are other variants: recently an African-American friend was greeted in Via dei Fori Imperiali with “hey my n*gga”, which certainly got his attention – and then a bracelet was thrown at him, which he instinctively caught. He tried to give it back but as he did so, ended up being handed two more bracelets, all of which he eventually threw down in the street while the guy chased after him before giving up to pick up the bracelets.

This scam works by preying on the natural human instinct not to be impolite: not to brush off a friendly greeting, not to drop an unwanted gift on the ground.

So to counter the scam’s strange psychology, we therefore need to act in a non-natural way.

There is a simple technique which almost always works, and is used consistently by locals in Rome:

Totally ignore the scammer.

This sounds simple, but it’s harder to do than it sounds.

We often hear tourists say “I ignored him but he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer”.

Well, saying “no” is not ignoring them. By “ignore” we mean totally blank them. Act as if they literally don’t exist.

Any acknowledgement of their existence whatsoever – irritated reaction to the initial part of the scam, eye contact, a smile or even a raised eyebrow – counts as an interaction and means that the scam is ready to be played out.

By “ignore them”, we mean act as if the scammer were completely non-existent: they are invisible, and you can’t hear them no matter what they say.

If the bracelet gets put on your wrist before you realize what’s happening, you should drop or push it to the ground before they can tie it on.

We acknowledge that this sounds inhuman, but we consider that it is actually a kindness: by doing this you indicate to the scammer that you are not worth their time and they can move on to harass someone else.

This technique also works on selfie-stick vendors, umbrella merchants, etc.

A warning: while they’re mostly harmless, lately we recently have heard reports of scammers becoming more aggressive and intimidating when asking for money. If you are unfortunate enough for this to happen, make sure you walk firmly (but not in a way that shows you’re intimidated) to a place where there are other people around, preferably anyone in a uniform, and say the word “vigili” or “polizia“.

While acknowledging this annoyance exists, we don’t want you to be overly concerned about it – in general, apart from pickpockets, incidents of mugging and violent robbery against tourists are incredibly rare in Rome.

 

If you take one then they ask for a donation. Thats it. And follow you. And act hurt. And bring up their five fictional kids, Benny style. Ive seen the trick before back home with Tibetan monks trying to fund their, possibly fictional, temple but those guys are way smaller, meeker and more tibetan.

 

Tibetans defffo tend towards being more Tibetesque.

Look at this cunt. Kick to the Duodenum time, IMHO.

 

Don't you eat like eggs and peppers smashed up in a bowl every day or some rancid shite like that? You've got a lot of nerve shite talking Italian cuisine

 

My sister said Italians were the nicest people of any country she's been to

 

That is Italian.

 

How many countries she been to?

 

I eat real food aye. Meat, veg, herbs, nuts, berries and as little flour and processed shite as possible. After the agrarian revolution we shrunk 6 inches and died 30 years younger. Flour based food is junk.

 

She lived in England for two years ... she's been to All of Great Britain, Ireland, France, Sweden, Norway, Germany, Netherlands (YEAH, HUT! SUCK MY FUCKING BALLS!!!), Belgium, Thailand, Backpacked through India, whole bunch of places

My sister's rich