SEE YOU! A brand spanking new modern fitba thread 2020/21

Not enough credit was given to Big Dunc. We were in 18th position with fixtures coming up against Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal. He got us through that patch and we played with more passion than at any time all season.

 

Big Dunc just purchased by Manchester United.

 

Ashley Young, a man who once live streamed his dick from a Moscow Hotel room during England duty, offers his advice on what to do when staying inside.

Coronavirus: Ashley Young offers advice on avoiding disease

 

Fuck I miss work and my wee piddling daily routine already. I have a couple of old soviet propaganda posters on my fridge one of which is a smiling astronaut drifting in space on a rope...hut lost in time

 

I like my job but don't miss it.

It's my dog, Riley & I quarantined in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house & we're loving it. We can do this for months! Just need those checks to come in now!

 

Sounds about right.

I went out last night........it was very different. I've fancied myself as a hard man anytime anyplace.......this time it felt different. Just looking over my shoulder a bit more.

Saw a van in the distance at the bottom of a hill........with its lights on at 2Am, pointed at me creeping stealthily and silently at 2Am...I didn't know what to make of it..so I approached as my way of saying "I am not up to anything"................Milkman in an EV.

Walked out onto the railtracks cos I was trying to trace this noise I kept hearing, it was like that noise in Full Metal Jacket when they hunt the Sniper in Hue City....




........Couldn't figure it out, so I kept walking. Suddenly I see this van parked across my exit route. Abandoned but wide open............

......i creep up on that too and as I do the noises get louder........


..........it's just a bunch of guys working late on the railway.

 

Borussia Dortmund have announced that the club's players will forego part of their salaries to ease the financial pressure on the club amid the coronavirus crisis.

 

When they come back, they're going to have to play two matches per week yet set aside time for the FA Cup QF, SF & Final, the CL & EL finishing up the R16 & on from there. It's going to be football everywhere you look.

 

That's mighty white of them. I guess I could take a paycut if I was on 90,000 a week

 

CEO is taking a big cut as well. Yeah obviously not exactly making a major sacrifice but at least doing something. I hope others follow.

 

It's ok. Gary Neville is on Twitter making big virtue signals too.

 

Sellik dont need to throw any more money on Lawwell's Scrouge McDuck gold pile - the players should be donating their wages to reimbursing season ticket holders!

 

Wish i had a dug just now! Tbh theres parts of this im liking but by the end of xmas break i was beginning to get the bends a wee bit so im anticipating the same here....i need a set alarm clock to keep me off the bevie otherwise one drink with dinner turns into two and, a by few weeks later, too many!

 

I'm applying for permanent work and weekend work but with the current situation as it is, it may be difficult to find it with so many companies struggling. I'm currently "laid off" but should get 80% of my wages backdated. Could be the end of April when I get it. I've never applied for jobseekers allowance but would it be in my best interests to apply for it? Is Universal credit also something I could apply for or you can't apply for it if you've applied for jobseekers allowance? Just thinking of options.

 

I know nothing about the Benefits scene other than that it is a complete waste of time and is soul destroying.

I have heard today that the self employed are to get 80% of the average of their last 3 years profit.

I've been self employed since February 2016 but have not had a "profit" for a year, but I will see if I can average my "profits" for , 17/18 and 18/19 and 19/20

I was paying a whack in taxes , I paid £5k one year, and insurances, so no harm asking. Profits were low, about £25k but it kept me in my filthy bedsit and packets of power bars.

 

hope you're all out clapping

 

Yes. I have already set up some parameters to keep me in check. (I have been doing it for the last few yrs actually. ) Alcohol is only allowed twice a week. I have designated Tuesday & Friday as my drinking nights. Pizza once a week (Wednesday night.) I check all the world stats on the spread of the virus on Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday. Watch The Twilight Zone every night at 12:30 am except on Sunday when they show two episodes starting at midnight. More guidelines to follow.

I realized a while back, I'm a person that doesn't do well when there are no rules.

 

No beer on pizza night!

 

But your mum's new boyfriend looks like a cool guy.

 

I think youve just got to explain your circumstances and ask, Jim. Afaik universal credit is what they call it when you're entitled to more than one form of assistance, like housing benefit too or something- they just consolidate the various payments and call it that.

 

Impressed by your discipline. I bought three 750ml leffe bruines yesterday afternoon to last me to saturday- instructed the missus in the aisle 'dont let me drink all of these tonight!' She completely failed.

 

I've always been more of a binge drinker. You can put a 12 pack of my favorite beer in my fridge and I wouldn't even be tempted to have one all week until I knew it was a drinking night and I was going all out that night. And that's usually once or twice a week. The exception is when I am on vacation. I get hammered every night. 2016 I was in England fourteen nights. I got drunk fourteen nights in a row.

 

Aye, as much as i love a drink i actually dont like being proper steaming. If im gonna have a proper sesh with pals i'll usually supplement it with some ecstasy to keep me lucid, otherwise i try to keep it to 6ish drinks or less at weekend and 1 or 2 during the week

 

Breaking news regarding the future of the Premier League:

 

You really need to use that code for removing the text from the video thumbnail to get these things to work.

 

I don't care enough to.