Great War movies

Go through the GREAT War Movies and ask yourself how many of them could be made today, and if not, why not?

Zulu {racism, nude black women, white guys kicking ass}

A Bridge Too Far {It cost £22m in the 1970's. It wouldn't get made today. Too expensive. Not enough gear.}

Cross of Iron {It wouldn't get made as it eulogizes the Wehrmacht, would be way too expensive anyways}

The Blue Max {see above. Costs would be way too high and we'd need CGI by the boatload which would ruin it}

Lawrence of Arabia. Fucking FORGET it. NOT A HOPE. No lines for women? No interracial nudity? Arabs? No Jews? Massive logistical expenses? Some WHITE hero? FUCKING NO HOPE.

Gettysburg: Oh man. See above. Directed by Spike Lee. Starring Nuclear Pyramidz n'Shiet.

 

Concur with all of the above, except Gettysburg: never seen it

 

It's about these black guys who had Nuclear powered Cotton Jennys and then one day the Blue Whiteys and the Grey Whiteys showed up and ruined everything.

 

You know what I totally HATE?
So-called clever-tards (basically, pieces of dogshit like Gatti) who say ´Ohhhhh..of course the greatest war movie ever is ´Come And See´ (and they haven´t even seen it, they just read about it in Time Out or The Groodian or wherever)

I say to them, and their kicked-in cunts that associate with them and the like: Go and watch fuckin ´Kelly´s Heroes´ or ´Hannibal Brookes´ you fucking useless CUNTS.

 

Idi y Smotri is a great flick. Some of the Germans, of course, look Russian, cos they fucking are, and where was Klimov gonna get Germans in the USSR, natch. So I understand. It makes great use of the sound of the aircraft as the warning thread that runs through the film and the night-time machine gun scene where the cattle get slaughtered is immense. Also Maskaev-GGG faced little Rossian boy thinking of getting his beak wet with the girl is great.....until the Nazis interrupt and he literally has to run for his deaf-ass life. Great movie.

Kellys Heroes has its moments and it absolutely has its place. But I know a thing or two about the French campaign in 1944 and there was no fucking Hippies there. It's like BC and the SD Kid.....you're half-expecting somebody to say "Man" or "Dude" any given moment.

I thought Hannibal Brooks was brilliant when I saw it as a kid and it's a movie that takes me right right back to when I was a kid and I thought people like my Dad and Oliver Reed were the absolute coolest fucking guys that had ever lived. And maybe they were. Maybe I just got uncool.

Shit movie but I still loved it and probably would forgive it its flaws today. Nazi's bombing elephants. Tres Drole.

 

You know what I saw the other day? Swallows and Amazons. The first time I saw that I stayed HARD for the duration looking at Zanna Hamilton. I was about 7.

Now I realize what an utterly ordinary creature she is.

But then, coming from my socio-economic background, she was the sort of really refined nice girl you took an interest in.

 

Fuckin Fuck.
Right on-cue, someone uploaded the sucker to YouTube!


That´s the rest of MY night sorted: missus fucked off to bed, I got a bottle of Tanqueray / Tonic and good for your old man and Ollie Reed!

 

Micheal J. Pollard says: ´Go fock yo Motha!´´

 

They don't really make movies anymore.

Oliver Reed took shit role after shit role in one shit movie after another to pay his tax bill because he refused to leave England .

He'd be gone in a shot today.

 

Aida the Elephant died in 1981. She was 46. Good age for a beast in captivity.

 

I actually came to this thread just to post this movie. One of my all-time favorites, especially the score.

 

1993 version of Stalingrad. Full movie with English dubbing:

 

I get a bit anal when I watch these war movies, like "Enemy at the Gates" and you see the German tank and it looks like "Matchbox My First Tank" and it "fires" and some smoke comes out the barrel..........even big money productions like Saving Private Ryan, the "Tiger Tank" is a converted T-34. In Band of Brothers the German tanks all bounce around when in fact they were hulking squatting monsters. Like I said all a bit anal on my behalf.

 

Kellys heroes by far

How in the fuck did the enemy suspect that they had any chance against theo kojack and harry callahan?

 

And Don Rickles. And X from JFK.