The old movie thread: ratings and discussion' or some shiz

Wow. You need to lighten up pal. You really think I was taking a stab at you there?

 

MACHETE

SCORE - 4/10

GENRE - ACTION

PREMISE - Machete is your typical illegal alien trying to get picked up for daily temp jobs. He's basically strong armed into trying to assassinate a Senator who's been speaking out strongly against illegals and using it as his campaign platform. Machete winds up getting set up and framed for the attempt on the Senators life now he must clear his name and get revenge on those who have wronged him.

CRITIQUE - This movie was walkout on material to say the least. I went to see it because it was a Rodriguez production and me being a big fan of a lot of his movies I expected a well made product. Instead I got what felt like a mailed in job created to make money off of an overrated famous fictional trailer. There was none of the cool dialogue that normally inhabits Rodriguez' and Tarintino's movies. The story was mediocre, the flow wasn't very good mainly due to the film trying to add political themes which seemed to blur and step on the story the film started out with. Lots of the humor fell flat, such as the over the top political campaign commercials. Even the top notch actors didn't feel right in their roles. It was like practically everyone just mailed it in. There was also just a bunch of really silly stuff in it, some of which was funny but most of it just pissed me off. The way the final bad guy died was so stupid I actually felt awkward with my date because I picked the movie. Many of the killings were cool and the nudity was nice but it just wasn't worth sitting through the entire terrible production.

 

Link via pm

 

Oddly, i like Takers, at least it is way better than Expendables.

 

Salt - stupid idea for a movie that i didnt buy into at all

Clash of the Titans - better than i expected, entertaining..not worthy of some criticism i read about it

The Crazies - good movie!

 

The Lovely Bones director Peter Jackson declared while he was doing the finishing touches to his Lord of The Rings trilogy (Return of The King) that he would take a long vacation and do nothing for an entire year and after that will do a low budget adaptation of a book about regular people. Well, we know he did not took the vacation, went straight from acepting his Oscar to direct his lifelong obsession remake of "King Kong" and then after that took the vacation and came back to direct a not-so-low budget adaptation of the best seller book The lovely Bones. Why I mention this? Because like James Cameron who took a detour from his usual scifi-action movie themes to direct 'a small art house film' (Titanic), Peter Jackson too suffers from a grandiose visual style is now is incapable of doing anything small. This movie could had been done under a $20 million budget, but Jackson spend over a $100 million on it. Sure, the movie is entertaining, but why waste so much money on the 'afterlife' sequences? What really mattered to the plot was what was going on with the deceased girl's, Susie, family and killer. Visually stunning, good acting by the teenager cast, Mark Walhberg was so-so as the dad, Susan Sarandon was almost a caricature, Rachel Weisz is hot no matter if she plays a depressed mother and Stanley Tucci deserved an Oscar as the serial killer. In all a good movie that bombed mainly because no matter the budget,this was still a small story and the finale was highly unsatisfaying because it stick to the book's ending. 8/10

 

What do you guys think about Requiem For a Dream?

 

Just saw Solomon Kane. It's grittier than LOTR by far and visually stunning. The acting is excellent and it has twists and turns that make it very entertaining.

 

Damn! Why this movie wasn't released on theaters in the USA but went straight DVD when all I read is kudos about it? This Robert E. Howard character deserved to be watched on the big screen!:Wah:

 

EASY A While not the best teen movie out there, this one did its job to entertain mainly because of the performances of Emma Stone who was truly funny and charming in this role, Aly Michalka as the air head bimbo friend of Stone with epic boobs and Amanda Bynes as the religious wacko who makes Stone's existence miserable. Entertaining little film that could had been better had they not overkill the premise over and over for hour and a half. Aly Michalka is so hot I want to watch her again on anything!(when is that "HellCats" cheerleading tv show airing?) movie: 7.5/10 Aly's yummy meter: 10

 

Kick-Ass I absolutely enjoyed this film from start to finish. It is very funny,it is very violent,it is very unpredictable, the hero, Kick-Ass, is just an average Joe who is really inept at fighting crime, but is good at taking beatings and Hit Girl is the most awesome cool dirty-mouthed girl hero ever! Love this film. Had a blast. Nicolas Cage was his usual so-so though. 9/10



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I really thought it was awful.

 

Panchy, they have already shown 4 episodes of this show on CW.

 

I never watch regular tv, so I am a little unaware of their schedules. Which days is this on?

 

No one watches tv based on the air time anymore, go to http://www.cwtv.com/shows/hellcats/episodes

 

Thanks

More reviews of old movies I rewatched this past week:

BLADE RUNNER: The Final Cut One of my old time favorite movies got the blu-ray treatment and oh boy does it looks gorgeous now, exactly like it looked like when it was first released. Of course this is not the 1982 version that was released at theaters and later on vhs and dvd. This is the 'director cut' or 'final cut', the way Ridley Scott intended it to be before the studio messed with it, put the silly voice-over narration by Harrison Ford and added the 'happy ending' which honestly never made sense in relation to the rest of the film (an overcrowed, pollutated earth which tried to lure inhabitants to move 'off world' that somehow without explanation Deckerd escaped in his car with Rachel to green forests, pristine rivers, clear skies, etc.). This version is still the same film, but by deleting the studio added narration and happy ending and adding a small scene of dream-like unicorn, it changes everything we thought about the film: Rachel was NOT the last Nexus 6 replicant in the run, a certain blade runner was a replicant too. Scott left hints of that through out the whole film and by adding the unicorn scene and the movie now ending right after Decker finds the paper made unicorn figure made by the Edward James Olmos character, it tells you that he knew that Decker was a replicant even though Decker didn't knew until that precise moment! 9/10


MAD MAX 2: The Road Warrior Probably the best action film of the 80's, the best post-apocalypse film ever and Mel Gibson coolest character ever. What can I say? This masterpiece still packs a punch and proves to this new generation that you don't need special effects at all to make a great science fiction film. The last scene still gives me goosebumps, "And the Road Warrior? that was the last time we saw him...he lives only in my memories."10/10



MAD MAX Beyond Thunderdome Now this is a sequel that suffers in comparison to its previous two entries. While not a bad film since the first half of the film is brilliant, the second half with the stupid 'feral kids tribe' is so lame cheesy and dumb that killed all the promise of greatness its first half was trying to build. The last chase sequence feels like ripping-off the great car race battle of the second film, but in cartoon style. Aunty Minty letting Max live after all that they went through to 'make him pay', felt more like a studio decision to let the door open for future sequels than a believable conclusion to this particular story. 6/10

 

Oh Boy, did I just watch a couple of stinkers.



Robin Hood - 4 out of 10

Crowe is hilariously miscast here. This is about the early days of Robin Hood before he donned the tights and started hanging out in the woods with his merry fags. Sadly due to the age of Crowe, his halcyon days of rope swinging and robbing would have required the use of a walking frame as he would be well into his 50's and more suited to sitting quietly with a cup of milky tea by the fire.

You know the most interesting fact about Robin Hood's backstory? The fact that it isn't interesting. It's not a tale that requires telling. His story begins when he becomes an outlaw and begins dwelling in the woods. The rest is not necessary at all. It would be like getting the rights to King Arthur and then focusing soley on his life BEFORE he retrieves Excalibur. No one cares because it's BORING. This film (similarly to The Prince Of Egypt) ends right when it was getting to the good part. It's like getting a really intense handjob, and once you're right at the brink, she stops because "my arm hurts". I don't care if you're in love with her or not, at that stage you could kill her and that's what this film was to me. Cinematic blue balls.

Once again Hollywood decides that Marion was way too weak in her earlier incarnations so they show her getting into armour and riding into battle. Seriously, it's time that movie makers pulled their collective heads out of their asses on this one. WOMEN CAN BE STRONG CHARACTERS WITHOUT TURNING INTO DEFACTO MEN. They don't need to ride out into battle to show courage for fucks sake.

Anyway, this film blows. Just like the ladyboy they hired to play Prince John.



The Other Guys - 4 Out of 10

Deep breaths, that's right. OK. It would take pages for me to write about how little I enjoy Will Ferrell's latest movies. This GIF sums up his acting range for me:



This film wasn't good. It was just bland. Really bland. I laughed once, maybe twice and the second time was a sarcastic laugh at how shitty this movie was. Here's something I don't understand and it contains SPOILERS:

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Why the hell did they kill off Rock and SLJ? The apparent moral of the story was that the guys that work cases everyday and don't get on the news were the real heroes. If so, why not have Will and Marky Mark solve the main case but get no media coverage as it was all focused on the other two? Instead, they introduce another two cops who do absolutely nothing the entire film but stand in for Rock and SLJ. Terrible decision that was made only because they wanted the death scene (and how shit was that?).
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Really strange film. No real chemistry between Mark and Will either. I agree once again with Lb when I say that Wahlberg is miscast. He just isn't a comedy actor and shouldn't try. The only time I ever found him funny? The Departed, when he was being a foul mouthed arrogant douche. That's his range, he should stick to it.

The best thing I can say about Will Ferrell is at least he wasn't at Step Brothers level stupid here. Sadly he suffers from Robin Williams syndrome whereby he was told once it was funny when he used black slang in an offensive tone of voice and stuck to it.

Avoid both of these movies like the plague.

 

I agree completely. I'd watch Step Brothers again before I rewatched Kick Ass.

 

Although I agree Kick Ass sucked ass, I'd have to sit and ponder which of those two shit sandwiches I'd prefer to eat.

 

Wow. No luck at all this weekend.



The Losers - 3 Out of 10

Terrible. Just terrible. This was like one of those made for TV action flicks with zero budget except that some idiot greenlit this for an actual movie.

Awful performances abound in this one. From the main star Clay who mumbles his way through everything to the paper-thin Cougar who does nothing much except tip his hat at people.

Jason Patric plays the main villain and he is the reason for 2 of the 3 points. His character was so ridiculous and off the wall that it made me look forward to his screentime. The other point is for the guy that played Jensen who made me chuckle when he complained that a gun was pointed at his dick.

Aside from that it is formulaic, ridicuolus and ultimately just not worth watching. Worse yet they try to set up for a sequel. We can only hope it never sees the light of day.

 

i watched Iron Man 2

what a piece of shit...basically nothing happens till the last 20minutes

 

Demolition man I did enjoyed this film when it came out in 1993. Contrary to what all the critics remember about Sandra Bullock, it wasn't SPEED the first time she charmed audiences, but in this one that came first. Time has not treated this film well and the scifi stuff doesn't look as great as it did back then. Anyway the fun about this film is in its tongue in cheek dialogue, toilet humor, Sandra Bullock's 'he has match his meat, you certainly lick his ass' cheerful one liners, Stallone's "I don't mind a burrito', Wesley Snipes over-the-top chewing scenery histrionics and pop culture references. The action scenes are still good. 7.5/10

 

Let The Right One In Okay I will go against the flow and will not say that this is a great film. But it is a good one. The plot is well known by now: boy meets vampire kid, boy falls in love with vampire kid, vampire is protective of lonely boy being bullied by classmates. The film like the vampire kid lacks the balls to explore the book's most shocking revelation, it only hints at it.



*SPOILER ALERT*

The book reveals that the vampire girl centuries ago was a boy who had his genitals cut. So the plot twist is like the Crying Game for the vampire crowds. Also the 'guardian' that seek victims for Eli was her lover who grew older. He became jealous of Oskar, the 12 year old boy, because he knows he will be replaced soon like the vampire has been doing for centuries. So the boy Oskar will only become just another slave like the older guy was.




The film has strong performances by the children actors, but the adult roles are almost caricatures. Two memorable scenes: the attack of the cats and the last scene in the pool. Yup, this is the most gory 'feel good' movie you'll ever watch this year. 8/10

 

Dennis Leary remembers "Demolition Man"

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Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies - watch more funny videos​

 

Yeah, I didn't like that ex-boy aspect they took with the movie. It totally ruined a perfect premise, kind of like it was thrown in as extra when it wasn't needed. What also didn't make sense is the girl telling the boy and hinting to him that she wasn't really a girl. Why would she do that if she needed him to love her. I caught that about the old man the first time I saw the film but yeah, most people seem to miss it.

 

Dante's Inferno Actually is a tie-in to promote the video game, but contrary to what I expected it was actually entertaing. Like the game is based on,it takes many liberties from its source material, "The Divine Comedy" with the biggest one being making Dante a warrior crusader and the whole Beatrice in Hell-now-Satan's bride. The monsters and hell circles are quite creepy and creates a sense of doom. The action is explicitly gory but since most of the mayhem is directed at demons and ghouls is ok. I found the events at the climax a little bit unsatisfaying, but hey, they are just following the game's plot. 8/10

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EDGE OF DARKNESS I am a Mel Gibson fan. I have watched all his films and enjoyed most of them. This one is a turkey. It starts very interesting, but the plot moves at snail pace, the conspiracy angle sucks and the 'grieving parent' scenes only makes it worse. After watching one hour and twenty minutes of this tedious two hours film, me and the other people in the room decided we had endured enough and stopped the movie and then procceded to rewatch Jet Li's "Kiss of The Dragon" which felt like a masterpiece in comparison. 4/10