How to Fix The Oscars

It is no secret that currently the much hyped Academy Awards ceremony telecast is in deep shit: ratings keep sinking at record numbers each year, the show keeps getting longer despite the promises of its producers, it keeps turning of viewers by becoming more politicized and more lame 'jokes'. For the first time a New Year starts and they still have no host for their show (they tried to bully Kevin Hart and it failed). It makes you wonder, how did it went from the most anticipated show of the year decades ago to the most vilified? How this mess can be fixed?

Here are Panchy's suggestions:

Oscar is sick and like a sick patient we need to treat not only the symptoms, but cure the source of the illness.

Running Time: Anyone remembers when the Oscars was a little over two hours? I do. That was when there were only 8 boxing categories. The first thing to do in order to trim the ridiculous long ceremony is to slash away the cluttered 'no-one-gives-a-shit-categories'. I mean does anyone really stays glued to the screen watching the awards for Best Technical Achievement in a Short Film? All these very California mentality added categories where everybody NEEDS to be a winner of something, have to be moved to that non-televised ceremony (which lately they are showing video clips too like if anyone cares). Television executives must force the organizers and producers to deliver a fucking TWO HOURS show and if not finished by 11:00PM the tv station will promptly cut to their news programming and will just announce the winners of the remaining categories withing their news alerts.

Too Many Categories: Besides all the technical categories it seems that every year they keep adding new ones. Don't be surprised if one of these days they come up with a Best LGBTQ Film (GLAAD is pushing that). There are way too many categories. Most of them are not interesting to the majority of viewers. Cut them out. Leave only the 'big, important ones'. No more Short Films categories. No more Irving Thalberg & Cecil B. DeMillle ass licking awards (between these two alone a good 15-20 minutes will be chopped). You want to have some musical number? Stick only with the five nominated song performances, but do away with all the pomposity Vegas style dancing numbers. Combine the TWO writing categories into ONE like it used to be in the past. That way there will be only one winner who everybody will remember. (I remember when weirdo tattooed stripper Diablo Cody won for her Juno original screenplay, but have no memory who won the Best Adapted Screenplay or besides Matt Damon & Ben Affleck, who remembers the other dudes?).

Go Back to Five Best Pictures: In theory the idea of expanding from 5 to 9-10 Best Picture nominations was to allow commercial fan favorite films to get nominated after the universal backlash of leaving out 'The Dark Knight'. The first year this started, box office and fans favorite"Avatar" was nominated. Now we get 9 Art House nominees. Stupid. The whole 9 nominations was a retarded idea from the start. Keep only five, but of those, the Academy members nominating films must nominate at least one proven audience favorite blockbuster. Sorry, 'The Mule' cannot be you #5 nominee when 'Black Panther' and "The Avengers: Infinity War" were released the same year. They might complain none of these films will win. So what? There will be only one winner anyway.
Leave Politics Out: Any actor, director, writer that starts any kind of political speech or cause pushing monologue will have the microphone turn off or beeped. Period. Yes, it will irritate all the out-of-touch Hollywood Divas, but will spare audiences to be pissed and not give us an excuse to switch the channel. In fact it will be hilarious to watch Sean Penn's microphone go mute or Jim Carrey's being beeped.

Acceptance Speeches Trimmed to 30 seconds: When there are more than one person nominated for the same category, they have to agree beforehand who will do the talking. No taking turns of 45 seconds each. With just 30 seconds they will be forced to leave out thanking their families, pets, domestic service, etc. Once their time is cut off and music starts, microphone shut, the next presenter must already be close to the other microphone and start talking. This will keep things at a fast pace. However give the Big Five one minute each (Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Screen Writer, Best Film producer). Just don't allow any 'Tom Hanks Philadelphia-like' long speeches.

Nominate Universally Acclaimed Films: No more obscure, seldom heard of, agenda pushing politically charged films that might be the cup of tea for the Hollywood Gay mafia, but that have zero appeal to the rest of the world...'Moonlight' comes to mind. Must remember that the most watched shows were the ones when the Academy had acclaimed blockbuster The Godfather Part II competing against also acclaimed commercial hits like Chinatown and The Towering Inferno plus instant classic The Conversation (no one gave a shit about art house 'Lenny').

Any other suggestions?

 

Yeah, I've got suggestions:
1 - Stop cut-&-pasting stuff from other websites and passing them off as your own 'well thought-out' ideas.

2 - "Hey! Panchy! Leave those kids alone!"

 

I heard you were once the Planning Director for the Teen Choice Awards before you were fired under undisclosed circumstances

 

Like I usually respond to your stupid theories: Please go ahead and do a Google search on any part of my post and see if you find an identical sentence anywhere. And thank you for the 'well thought-out' praise!
Can't leave what I don't have!

 

I am not allowed to talk about that.

 

BTW this year Irving G. Thalberg will be none less than (drums, please) KATHLEEN KENNEDY!
This will be the industry & Lucasfilm biggest FUCK YOU to all the disgruntled Star Wars fans who were clamoring for Kennedy's resignation.

 

Did any read all that mierda?

Simple solution? Sew their nostrils shut

 

25 Million people watching an award show(of any sort...music/acting) is ridiculous....n most of the movies nominated the average person hasn't/won't watch...n if they do it's probably boring shit that should never win anything....Dunkirk? boring shit....Get Out? Overated SHIT....The Revenant? The Grey was better.....Gravity? biaatttch

 

Only fags and old women watch award shows

Here's how to fix the Oscars:

Throw acid at every person that cares about them

 

Thank you for all your in-depth, well thought out, intelligent responses. These kind of comments enhances fightbeat's position at Google Search bottom spot.

 

My response is concise and sensible. The Oscars is a bunch of rich pricks jerking off. Nobody with any sense gives a fuck about it.

 

You give liberals a bad name. Where is your tolerance and unity?

 

You're a meme

 

Please, make one. Amuse me.

 

Little harsh?



Probably right though...

 

Ohhhhh you did all that - just for me!!

(don't like the colors)