SEE YOU! A brand spanking new modern fitba thread 2020/21

The biggest cash cushion in the game? We're the fitbaw equivalent of doomsday preppers

 

Young African lad outside, 3.30 every day. Same sermon every day, centred on the ten commandments but with about 90% of the air time dedicated to the topics of lust, fornication & adultery. Just seems to be where his mind wanders. I feel like his shrink.

 

Reported to HR.

 

I bet he has a cock like a fucking python and this is all some sort of personal penance he serves each day to ward off the evil white pussy.

 

Sheffield United take a bow.

 

Got a knock at the door there about an hour ago. Old Landan Postman innit. White Geezer, about six foot, thin as you like because he's a worker that walks and eats marmalade and not Haribos. Got to be 60. He supports Liverpool "Cos me old gran-dad, ee was Awsnil, and me bruvvas was all Spurz. I ad to rebel too but not facking totnam, I took Liverpool. Nyneeen Nyneeen.....sicksty free I fink, yeah, cos Roger Unt ad just sahyned for Shanks"

This went on for some time. He literally knows everything about every kant in a 10 mile radius. Forget MI5 or MI6.......this lad knows what you had for breakfast.

Never answer the door to a postman.

 

Sounds like a good distraction right now. I'm at the point where I savour every second of conversation with anyone about anything.

 

Yeah you're right. He broke off the convo in the end. He had that one parcel to drop.

I got to describing my other landlord the one I rent the garage off......he's named him for me, he knew exactly who I was on about.

Then, to cap it all off, I've been saying "Oh, he's like that Jewish slum land lord back in the fifties".........and he's gone and namedropped him and all.

Postman eh. Half of todays Uni wokesters couldn't name half the shit he detailed on my doorstep.

 

Yep. No output without Input.

Somebody TELL me something. There's no input from the mainstream these days. That's all prebaked.

I've started writing. I'm looking to do 10 novels and I've got the guts of 7 in front of me.

Martin Amis did 15 I think and he's gonna die rich.

Just dawned on me that in 9 years in London I've seen enough shit to do 10 books. My fetid imagination fills in any gaps.

My belief is that we might be approaching peak woke and that anyone who produces a novel that features some anti-woke might just be in a position to shift a few copies.

What do you think? Any future in writing?

 

Like most endeavors into the arts if you do it with the intention of making a pile of money it's not going to happen.

 

Whiskey with the encouragement

I don't know what one means by "a Pile"...........and there won't be anything fucking arty about anything I ever write either....... more of a kick in the bollox for a literary scene that has grown flabby and soft on a stream of shite like "Normal People" and "Little Liars" and all that crap.

I usually go downstairs in the evening and go through all the Netflix bollox and it's all so light...there's nothing with a proper kick to it. It's all cliched and hackneyed and lazy.

I don't know how they get paid.

 

I am sorry but what the fuck.......WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

 

I just mean that if you have a passion for writing and want to do it then absolutely go for it. It's just that if money is your primary motivation you'll probably end up disappointed.

 

Just bear in mind that the simple fool who wrote this shit got paid even more to be a "technical advisor" for the TV adaptation of the book. Just bear that in mind. This cunt got paid twice for this shit

"Normal People follows two characters - Marianne and Connell - through adolescence and into early adulthood, and they begin by being the kind of uber-precocious teenagers who read Proust and Marx for fun"

 

Good point because I don't actually know what my motivations are: I have this awful appetite for telling people precisely what the story is and how wrong they are. When you write a book and they read it, you are basically forcing your opinion down their throat without them really knowing it, especially if they agree with you. If you get paid then fuck it, bonus time

 

"It is time to take a sharp inhale, people. Sally Rooney has produced a second novel, Normal People. It is superb . . . a tremendous read, full of insight and sweetness. -- Anne Enright, Guardian

"Magnificent . . . Rooney is the best young novelist - indeed one of the best novelists - I've read in years". -- Olivia Laing, New Statesman

"Astonishingly fresh . . . Rooney is such a gifted, brave and adventurous writer, so exceptionally good at observing the lies people tell themselves on the deepest level, in noting how much we forgive, and above all in portraying love . . . [Normal People] is a future classic" -- Kate Clanchy, Observer

"One the best novels I have read in years. Sally Rooney understands the complexities of love, its radical intimacy, and how power is always shifting between people, and she tells her story in a way that feels new and old at the same time. It is intelligent, spare and mesmerising, and it sent me back to an earlier point in my life in such a vivid and real way, reanimating for me with that period of time (first love), which I had thought was lost to me forever, but which felt born again in the form of this book." -- Sheila Heti, author of MOTHERHOOD and HOW SHOULD A PERSON BE


"It is time to take a sharp inhale"............I mean that's not even proper English. It's not even proper scientific language.

"We knew Momo was dead after he failed to take any more inhales", wrote the Coroner



When the cunts reviewing your book seem strangers to the language it was written in, you need to fuck off out of there , pronto.

"One of the best novels I have read in years........"

READ


MORE.

 

Sure, I'd give it a flick. I might have made the comparisons before but in sensibility you sometimes remind me both of bukowski (novels, not his relatively crap poetry) and mark e smith. Some common thread of offkilter/oblique prole misanthropy. Big fan of both

 

I know of Bukowski and Factotum is definitely my neck of the woods, both in my own DNA and personal experiences. I don't think I've ever worked a single serious job that I didn't quietly take the piss out of. I am sure my "Water off a Ducks Back" attitude cost me that government job in Southwark Council..........nobody likes a cunt that keeps taking punishment and keeps smiling "WHY CAN'T HE BE AS MISERABLE AS US!!!" sort of thing.

Mark E Smith......never heard of the geezer but I will check him out.


I just bought London Fields and will give it a try. I never liked Amis to be honest, first off he's a dwarf and they got too much to prove. Secondly he's a flipper.....he once got delayed in an Airport thanks to onerous anti terror provisions and wrote "Muslims will get theirs" or something to that effect. He was a big pal of Hitchens who also was anti-Religious but way ballzier and adroit than Amis. Amis probably felt safe in his shadow. Hitchens died in 2011 and Amis became a full blown Never-Trumper, citing the terrible things Trump had said in 2016.

Video says a lot. Wanker.



But Amis is of London and might be worth reading.

 

EDIT: I remember Smith now. Didn't remember him by name but by face and by sayings. He was right: any cunt that prefers to walk to safety rather than fight might not be our cup of tea

 

"Asked during a mid-1980s interview with Smash Hits as to what policies he would adopt if he became Prime Minister, he said "I'd halve the price of cigarettes, double the tax on health food, then I'd declare war on France."

QUITE!

 

Have you come up with a nom de plume?

 

One of my favourites was him on some music panel show where they played clips of the various songs out that week and asked the guests opinions. One was coldplay....mark e smith : 'god help us if there's ever a war'

 

I was going to use my real name. This would mean instant cancellation once my social media history was uncovered.

 

No problem. We could just consciously uncouple from any problems coming our way.

 

Yeah not a good idea.

How about Thurston Winthorp III

 

RAY DOYLE

 

Why is there such fixture congestion right now?

 

James Joice, William Yates or Oscar Wylde.

 

Right, need to do some more Airbike. 5 miles, then 4, then 3, then 2, then a cool of , just 1 mile.

Tonight is my turn to clean so I'll get this done, then run downstairs and break the back of the cleaning.

Then back upstairs to follow the football via Bet365 while working on my literary greatness project.

Once that is over I can fuck off back down and the other pair should be headed for bed.

Might make a bit of dinner and see what I've TIVO'd if its worth watching.